Ineffable (adj.) too great for words. Used in a sentence: The feeling I have in the past few days is ineffable because I am still convincing myself that I would be able to see my little one after more than a year since I last saw him. There isn't really no time for me to get emotional and stuff, sure I'd cry as a release of joy or anger or disappointment, but seeing my little guy in a few days is something I have to be prepared for rather than feel scared of since I haven't been there physically to take care of him. Kudos to my mom and my dad who have been his surrogate parents since he was still a tiny little bug. :P Now that he is more than 2 years old, I'd like to call him, a busy bee. I bought a bigger car seat, some books for him to make himself busy if we are not rolling to go around and once they're here, I hope to make up everything that I missed being with him in a month.
Yes, he is not staying here yet for good. It is a unanimous decision which I am sure would get a lot of buzz for those who love watching Showbiz Lingo back in the days which was replaced with The Buzz. Many might just say, "Oh," or some will talk behind your back saying "What kind of parent would do such a thing," or some will say " Do what you got to do." You know what? I decide what's best for my son and it's not that I don't want to sacrifice my life because being away from him is a sacrifice in itself. I have the choice for him to be with me, but will he grow up like how I wanted when he is around people he doesn't even know and won't know 5-10 years from now? I don't even know how he was treated for the 8 hours I will leave him in a day care (sure many will say, all our kids are products of day care and they are normal), while I spend the rest of the day with him, busy making lesson plans, house chores, daily errands and will only have time once it's time to go to bed. I don't want him to be neglected 5 days in a week, 16 hours a day and I can only get to spend quality time with him for less than 48 hours on a weekend and less than 60 days over the summer break. As supposed to 18 hours a day quality time with my parents (not including sleep hours) 7 days a week, nearly about 365 days in a year (not including the days he will be over here to visit me or I visit him). I mean I can only see him over at skype for 3 hours but I am assured where he gets his attitude and personality from which I surely won't forget to come from my parents and siblings that I have dealt with for years and I could be able to play it from there once it is time for him to stay with me for good.
All I ask is 2-3 more years maximum of him staying in PI with my parents until I am settled in San Diego and get my naturalized citizenship and in between, I will make sure I see him once every year and until that time comes (by 2014-- After I swear in) I will immediately bring him here with me together with my mom and my dad. My plans are clear, way clearer than my failed plans of getting married in a church once because when this time comes, I won't have any cold feet when it comes to this little guy that is my blessing, I just need time to prepare myself for the long haul I'd be parenting him.
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