Delightfully Tacky

Tacky, by definition according to urban dictionary means in bad taste, originated in the rural south but adopted to use nationwide and in urban setting. Other definition includes gaudy, flamboyant, and flashy in apparel. Some defines it as "pimp-like" appearance. You know very well that if someone is overdressed and is just a show off is downright tacky. Some say if you are tacky, you definitely be on the Jersey shore. I haven't seen the show, but I guess by labeling it as tacky, it most probably too much for me to handle.

Nothing against tackiness, because I am sure I have those moments that I was or am or will be tacky, it just tickled my imagination a little bit after experiencing a "tacky-moment" looking at some pictures online. I mean, wearing a translucent blouse with a black bra is just downright tacky. Using hanging blouses on top of a cami is so 1980's. I can't blame them if they are stuck in that generation, it is a fashion statement, you dress that way regardless of whether it is tacky or not.


True that it shows how brave the person is when it comes to fashion statement, I hope the tackiness stays here and not extend the tackiness in terms of socializing with other people, or when talking because this is more appropriately termed as trashy.

Again, I am not judging anyone, in fact, I support anyone who would wear a platform shoes as high as five inches with a net stockings and ruffled pink skirt and a white bikini tops along the Vegas strip and cheer for them, it is a delight to see. Who wouldn't notice you? It is hard to miss.

Alright, I hear some of you, I guess we can also term it as "vintage" but guess what, no matter how "vintage" we might look, feel, think, act, it would be conflicting to say a tacky individual can also be termed as classy. I really did have a very "vintage" clothing, by that I meant, a blouse from the 1960's literally! I loved it and worn it a lot and sewn it so it won't fall apart. It's just that one day, being vintage isn't really my thing and that the message I am trying to send to the people around me is really not the reflection of me. So, I quit wearing those and tried something else. More solid colors, less print and quieter appearance. I noticed people  liked to be around me because I look more approachable and believe it or not, thought I am classy. Well, I can perfect that look over and over, now that I am older, I guess it is the society and its culture who will judge whether they view you as someone who is classy, flamboyant, tacky, or just plain trashy. Not an issue, I accept who I come across with because just like what Lady Gaga said: "You are born this way." :)

Attention seekers!

I noticed that attention seeking behavior is pretty common with females, by that I mean, I include myself. After some thoughts, I realized, these behaviors may cause suffering to others on large doses. 


The sufferer: exaggerating, playing on an injury or maybe causing or inviting injury. On severe cases, diagnosed of Munchausen Syndrome, also known as Factitious Disorder--- this is when a person uses her injuries/illness as her vehicle for gaining sympathy and thus attention. This way, they can manipulate other people's emotions especially of that guilt. "Poor me" drama!


The Saviour: she creates opportunities to be the center of attention by intentionally causing harm to others and then being their saviour saving their life and by being caring, compassionate person.


The rescuer: common in family settings.she's the one who will dash in and "rescue" people whenever the moment is opportune- to herself, that is. Gratification is gained from basking the glory of her humanitarian actions. This may create a dependency relationship between the rescuer and rescued which can be exploited for further acts of rescue and attention later. When in rescue mode, the rescuer may be resentful, perhaps even contemptuous, of the person she is rescuing.


The organizer: present herself as the one in-charge, the one organizing everything, reliable, dependable, the one people can always turn to. However, the objective is not to help people (the only mean to an end) but to always be the center of attention.


The manipulator: she may exploit family relationships, manipulating others with guilt and distorting perceptions; may not harm people physically, she causes everyone to suffer emotional injury. A common attention seeking ploy is to claim she is being persecuted, victimized, excluded, isolated, ignored by another family member or group, perhaps insisting she is the target of a campaign of exclusion or harassment.


The mind-poisoner: adept at poisoning people's mind by manipulating their perceptions of others, especially against the current target. Period.


The drama queen: every incident, opportunity, no matter how insignificant, is exploited, exaggerated and if necessary distorted to become an event of dramatic proportions.... The soap opera style! Everything is elevated to crisis proportions. Hysterical comments and inappropriate flirtatious behaviors may also be present. (I know a lot of these!)


The feigner: denial-counterattack-feigning victimhood strategy to manipulate everyone present, especially bystanders. Feigning victimhood methods include bursting into tears, for most people's instinct is to feel sorry for them, to put their arm around them and offer them a tissue. Feigning victimhood can win oscars from their performance of having crocodile tears.This is the favorite tactics of bullies and harassers to evade accountability and sanction. 


The false confessor: this person confesses to crimes they haven't committed in order to gain attention from police and media. This is different from a person who make a false confession and admits a crime due to pressure, and inappropriate interrogation.


The abused: claims to be a victim of abuse, sexual abuse, rape etc. as a way of getting attention for themselves. These crimes such as rapes are difficult to prove at the best times and their incidence is so common that it is easy to make plausible claim as a way of gaining attention. 


The victim: she intentionally creates acts of harassment against herself, hate e-mails or damage her own property in an attempt to incriminate a fellow employee, a family member, neighbors, friends etc. Scheming, cunning, devious, deceptive and manipulative, she will identify her "harasser" and produces circumstantial evidence in support of her claim. She will revel in the attention she gains and use her glib charm to plausibly dismiss any suggestion that she herself is responsible. However, a background check may reveal that this is not the first time she has had this happen to her.... Sounds familiar to you?


In many cases, attention-seeker is a serial bully whose behavior may contain many of the characteristics mentioned above. We may be guilty of being one of these, or two, or even all, but ultimately, it only says one thing. Many of us, especially females are attention-seekers. I just hope we don't get to a point that we start causing suffering or pain to others, inconvenience and cause them to have a bad impression of you on a permanent basis. Getting attention is not something bad, but if we get it just because it makes us powerful and get what we want while we take away something from others causing a negative effect, is just mean. 


  

Professional versus Amateur

A professional learns every aspect of the job. An amateur skips the learning process whenever possible.

A professional carefully discovers what is needed and wanted. An amateur assumes what others need and want.

A professional looks, speaks and dresses like a professional. An amateur is sloppy in appearance and speech.

A professional keeps his or her work area clean and orderly. An amateur has a messy, confused or dirty work area.

A professional is focused and clear-headed. An amateur is confused and distracted.

A professional does not let mistakes slide by. An amateur ignores or hides mistakes.

A professional jumps into difficult assignments. An amateur tries to get out of difficult work.

A professional completes projects as soon as possible. An amateur is surrounded by unfinished work piled on top of unfinished work.

A professional remains level-headed and optimistic. An amateur gets upset and assumes the worst.

A professional handles money and accounts very carefully. An amateur is sloppy with money or accounts.

A professional faces up to other people’s upsets and problems. An amateur avoids others’ problems.

A professional uses higher emotional tones: Enthusiasm, cheerfulness, interest, contentment. An amateur uses lower emotional tones: anger, hostility, resentment, fear, victim.

A professional persists until the objective is achieved. An amateur gives up at the first opportunity.

A professional produces more than expected. An amateur produces just enough to get by.

A professional produces a high-quality product or service. An amateur produces a medium-to-low quality product or service.

A professional earns high pay. An amateur earns low pay and feels it’s unfair.

A professional has a promising future. An amateur has an uncertain future.

The first step to making yourself a professional is to decide you ARE a professional.

Are you a professional?

I learned that I still have to work on some aspects of myself as a professional, but I always welcome suggestions and criticisms that would help me become a better professional. 

Leader-- A Great thinker of Action

I just happen to come across a quote that talks about a leader. I was brought up with a concept that if you are a leader, you set good examples to your followers. You look flawless and maybe not so many people will like you because you oppose, have a certain conviction that might not sound favorable at first but it has a profound value that everyone will realize after going through it in details. An ideal leader, in my understanding does not only focus on a small-scale but on a large-scale. Able to show competencies in the scope of the job the leader is doing so that his subordinates will be able to follow.

Have I encountered very good and not so good leaders? YES. I noticed, a good leader is also a good follower. Less on complaints, and more on putting thoughts in action. Listens in silence to be able to come up with an action plan. Not so good leaders does not follow through and leave their followers empty and confused. The best experience I had being with a good leader left me feel inspired, contented, focused and most importantly desires to be like them. Even though I have become one at some instances, I feel I have tried to perform my duties that makes my members contented, focused and not confused. I hope some would feel inspired if I get the chance to lead again, but I guess, I still need to work more on becoming a better follower, if not the best. That way, I can be able to lead just like the good leaders I encountered and will encounter in the future.